Top Tips to Help You Move on From Divorce Leave a reply After the stress of divorce moving on can seem daunting, especially if there are outstanding legal and financial matters. There’s often personal and psychological readjustment to consider too, usually when we’re feeling at our lowest ebb. Self-esteem and confidence often suffer as a result of divorce, maybe through feeling a failure or concern at letting yourself down or others. Counselling and hypnotherapy can help with processing what went wrong, learn from the experience and become more positive and confident, possibly even better than before! Addressing unhelpful, inherent patterns and behaviours can help you proceed, having learned valuable lessons from the divorce experience. Healing in part is all about managing unwanted, negative patterns to be able to avoid repeating them in the future. It is now time to become more independent and self-sufficient. Couples often share friends, social interests and decision-making, so moving on alone can feel scary. Include friends and family, take things at your pace, adopt a realistic outlook, laugh at your mistakes and make the transition easier. Also in relationships there are often his and her or yours and mine tasks. You may need time to learn to do things you have never done before. Ask for help, give up the frustration and be gentle with yourself. It takes the time it takes to proceed! Aim to keep yourself up-to-date and relevant . Keep in touch with the outside world and stay connected. Watch the news and popular TV so you can join in with conversations. Invest in your appearance, even if it is a simple colour change or gentle makeover. Plan a pamper evening, dinner celebration, card day or have your mates around for the televised football. Let’s contribute a dish or jar so it’s an inexpensive evening. Play board games together, all fun, simple ways to keep in touch. House may feel very different post-divorce. It could be time to relocate and focus on establishing a new home for you and yours. Or fiscal considerations may make selling the marital home prohibitive for the time being. Staying there may be workable in the short term; it allows time to repay, heal and plan ahead. If so, find ways to reorganise your home. Rugs, prints and little touches can make a real difference. Let the children help so that they feel involved and spent too. Possessions can be a tough call. Often getting rid of things can be both symbolic and cathartic. Sometimes letting something go that meant a lot can be the right thing to do. Do you really want to be reminded of your connection each time you enter a room? Sleeping alone might feel strange initially, but it’s a fact that people do gradually get accustomed to occupying an entire double bed. Change your mindset about your bedroom – it’s your place today. Turn it into a haven and make it the way you want it to be. Place lavender on your pillow, take a relaxing bath and get comfy on your space. Work often becomes more significant after divorce. It may be essential to make money, so you need to settle down to working in your job or career. Or could now be time to start out again and achieve something you’ve always wanted to do, something special for yourself? Re-write your CV, investigate career choices or re-training. Consider the best way to make that fresh start and look at a new career, or starting a business of your own. This might be your catalyst for change! As you find your feet appreciate the chance for a new start and discover positive ways to proceed from your divorce.